


Finding The Past

by Scarlettnova



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Blood and Violence, Character Death, F/M, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Gunshot Wounds, Injury, Panic Attacks, Post-Avengers: Age of Ultron (Movie), Protective Steve Rogers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-10
Updated: 2020-06-29
Packaged: 2021-02-27 10:20:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 15,207
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22205485
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Scarlettnova/pseuds/Scarlettnova
Summary: Wanda Maximoff sure knew what she was doing when she made Natasha Romanoff see her fears. It’s been a year after Ultron happened and still she wakes up screaming most nights. After an interview forces her to acknowledge her Red Room past, Natasha makes the decision to go back to Russia and try and recover her past. Except this time she’s not alone, Steve Rogers is going with her.
Relationships: Natasha Romanoff/Steve Rogers
Comments: 11
Kudos: 119





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So this is my first fic. And it’s also going to be long, so hopefully it goes alright. I’ll try and post once a week although it may be sooner or later. This first part is like the prologue and has Natasha struggling with situations that trigger her old memories. *Brief description of blood* Feel free to tell me what you think!

It was cold. So bitterly cold.

Memories flashed through her mind as snow settled on her shoulders and hair.

[Running through the snow and feeling the harsh sting of the cold on her bare skin as she slipped and slid her way up a hill. Making it to the top and feeling proud of herself, only to be thrown to the ground when her time wasn’t good enough.

Sleeping in her own little spot outside with only a blanket to shield her from the elements. Feeling the cold creeping into her bones and doing her very best to earn a spot inside, where the conditions were better.

Feeling the cool metal of a gun in her hand as she waited silently in the shadows atop the structure for a stage. Her target standing below her addressing a crowd. From her position, seeing an associate of the Red Room giving the signal and dropping her target with skilled ease. Fleeing the screams and shouts of the crowds as she melted back into the snow laden woods that concealed her hideout.

Dancing with the other girls, dressed in only pink tights and black leotards with short skirts to protect them from the open windows and flurries of snow blowing in. Twirling delicately on her toes and clenching her muscles to remain straight when all she wanted to do was shiver and shake. Watching other girls give in and lose their posture, only to be taken away and never seen again.]

A creak of a door behind her made her spin around, hand already pulling the loaded gun from her thigh holster. Her finger tightened around the trigger and every honed instinct told her to pull it. Pull it and kill the person interfering with her mission-

“Nat?”

Steve Rogers stood in front of her, looking both embarrassed and concerned. 

“Are you okay?”

Realizing she was still aiming her gun at him she lowered it and stepped back slightly. [What is wrong with you Romanoff?] She thought as she shoved the firearm back into its holster. [Since when has the fucking snow distracted you?! You’re the Black Widow! Focus on your mission not the past.]

“Natasha?”

He was still waiting for her response.

“I’m fine.” She bit out, trying to force her mind back to the present. Taking a deep breath she concentrated on the man in front of her.

“I’m just tired, surveillance work is getting me I think.” A total lie, surveillance work was one of her favorite things to do. She could lose herself in her work and forget all her hundred and one problems.

Steve softened slightly, “anything I can do to help?”

She shook her head, “I don’t think so, thank you.”

When she saw his disappointment though, she felt bad at rejecting him so quickly.

“Could you, maybe, just,” her voice didn’t seem to want to work at the moment, “um, stay here? With me?” Well, that was a mess.

But the happy look on Steve’s face was worth the fumble and he nodded, leaving the doorway and joining her at the edge of the roof. For a moment they just sat in comfortable silence as each was absorbed in their own thoughts. 

A snowflake drifted onto her nose and she shivered slightly, rubbing it away. Tugging on the necklace around her throat she frowned slightly as the door to her memories threatened to push open again. 

Catching Steve’s eye she blushed, “Sorry, the snow, it uh, brings back some memories.” 

He nodded sympathetically, “same, sometimes old fears come back randomly. Wanda sure knew what she was doing when she gave us our fears back.” 

Natasha bristled slightly at the suggestion that there was something she was afraid of. But then again, Wanda had brought back memories she hadn’t even realized were still there. Each as horrific as the last and each haunting her dreams at night.

“Widow you there?” Her comms crackled to life and she hurriedly lifted her hand to her ear piece. “This is Widow. What is it?” 

Steve watched as she listened carefully. “I’m on it.” She said and quickly leaned off the roof as far as she could, judging the distance across the street. “What’s going on?” He asked and she glanced at him.

“The target finally started moving. I gotta move.” Grabbing her other gun off the floor she quickly ran to the other side of the roof. Steve followed uncertainly, “what do I do?” He asked and she glanced at him.

“Stay here. We don’t have time to hide you.” And with that she started moving. Sprinting past him she launched herself across the space between the two buildings, aiming for the smooth concrete of the roof opposite her. 

“Natasha!” Steve ran to the edge of the roof and watched as she crashed onto the top of the building. “Are you okay?!” He yelled as she stumbled and tried to regain her bearings.

She glared at him, “shut up!” Flattening herself to the top of the rooftop she quickly assembled the sniper gun she’d stored in a bag. Thank god she’d thought to put sniper bags on both buildings. Sliding the last piece into place she peered down the sights and checked everything. So far so good.

And just in time too. Her target appeared on the streets, head down, jacket hood up. She snorted, that might hide him from the street cameras but it certainly wasn’t going to hide him from her. She put him in her sights and took a deep breath. Quick inhale, quick exhale. 

The snow drifted onto her eyelashes and she shook it off concentrating. Inhale, exhale, line everything up. She pulled the trigger. It was a perfect shot and he dropped instantly. But she didn’t notice.

[“Natalia what have I told you about failing?” 

“That it is not tolerated and if I am not succeeding than I will not be tolerated either.”

“Exactly. So why are you failing?” 

Natasha held her tongue. She was not going to fail this. Her fingers curled around the handle of the gun at her waist. Her target, an officer held her gaze for a heartbeat before turning away. It was all she needed.

Her shot was perfect. Right where her instructors had taught her it should be. Lowering her gun she stared at the corpse coldly, wiping blood off of herself.

“I never fail.”]

The gun fell from her numb fingers and clattered onto the rooftop. Her breath was coming in quick gasps and she was shaking as she scrambled backwards from the gun. She could swear the metallic smell of blood was all around her, choking her. She whimpered and covered her mouth trying desperately not to throw up.

“Natasha!” It was Steve again. She was breathing hard and her eyes were wild. “Hey, look at me, you’re okay.” 

She blinked, “Steve?”

He nodded, “who else would I be?” 

He was crouched over her, looking deeply concerned. “What happened?” 

“Nothing!” She spat trying to steady her shaking limbs. She shoved down the horror of the memory that had surfaced and turned away. “It’s nothing.” Pushing herself to her feet she stalked to the gun and ripped it apart, throwing it back into the bag. Slinging the bag over her back she turned to Steve. “Can we just go? We have an interview in a couple hours.”

He sighed, “fine.” 

They arrived back at the hotel they’d been staying at in less than an hour and thirty minutes later were safely tucked into their Quinjet and heading for home. During the time Steve tried to talk to her but she remained stubbornly silent. 

Once they landed back at base Natasha was out the doors and gone in a flash. Steve stared after her and sighed quietly. Shutting off the jet he followed her. They needed to talk, this was the second time during a mission that Natasha had frozen up on. 

He was halfway through the compound when his cellphone rang. Pulling it out he rolled his eyes at the number and answered. 

“What is it Stark?” He snapped.

“Woah someone’s touchy today? Did Romanoff turn you down?” 

“You know very well that I have not asked her out because it’s too close to the whole Ultron fiasco.”

“Uh huh, sure. Anyways, how was the mission?”

“It was fine. We got our target with no difficulties.”

“And how is Natasha holding up?”

Steve paused wondering if he’d heard him right, “what do you mean how is she holding up?” 

Tony snorted slightly, “come on Rogers, you know you’re not the only one who notices her little breakdowns right?” His voice got softer, “I’m worried about her, ever since Wanda...did what she did and Bruce left Natasha’s seemed lonely.”

Steve’s jaw clenched a little at the mention of Bruce but he forced the jealousy aside. “She froze up on the rooftop right after shooting our target. Just, kinda went pale and started freaking out.” He sighed and entered his apartment, “I’m going to talk to her later after the interview.”

“Good luck with that. I gotta go, don’t be late to this interview.”

“I won’t.” Ending the call Steve let his thumb hover over Natasha’s contact for a moment before sighing and putting it away. He needed to get ready anyways.

When he emerged an hour later it was to find the others waiting for him. His eyes went immediately to Natasha who was talking quietly with Clint Barton.

“Capsicle! Finally!” The others looked up at Tony’s exclamation. “Let’s get this show on the road!”

They arrived to Stark Industries where the interview would be held and almost immediately were swarmed by journalists and excited fans. 

“Everyone alright?” Clint asked as they escaped into the building and Tony’s security guards formed a protective circle around them. They all nodded and continued into the building. 

By the time they reached the interview room Natasha was getting more and more nervous. She clung tighter to Clint who squeezed her hand reassuringly. When they were seated she could barely listen to the questions being directed at her teammates. The flashes of the cameras going off blinded her and she stared straight ahead trying her best not to let any emotion flit across her face.

“And now a question for ms. Romanoff.” 

Her head jerked up and she turned towards the direction of the voice. “Yes?”

“Was fighting an army of powerful robots while your team was compromised the hardest thing you have ever done?” 

And just like that she was frozen. 

[Flames washed her with heat and she screamed as a tongue of flame licked against her arm.

“Focus Natalia! Do you think that the enemy will wait for you to gather your wits about you?!”

A knife slashed across her arm and blood seeped down. She flinched but parried the next blow with her own knife. Seeing an opening she lunged forwards. A hand cuffed her on the head and she was thrown to the ground.

“You’re weak! The Red Room never should have taken in such a child!”]

“ms. Romanoff?”

She blinked and she was back in the interview room, hundreds of faces looking up at her expectantly. 

“I...”

Her voice wouldn’t work. Panic was racing up and down her spine and her breath was coming quicker and quicker. 

“Natasha, are you okay?” Wanda leaned forwards and looked at her reassuringly. Natasha stared at her blankly. 

Voices were crashing through her ears. 

[“You are no one, not until you have earned it! Fight! Crying is for the weak, do you want to be the prey or the hunter? I have no place in the world. Exactly.”]

“I need to go.” She stammered out and fled the room.


	2. Chapter 2

A scream was torn from her throat and she sat bolt upright gasping for air. Her forehead was covered in sweat and she could feel her heart racing. 

Throwing off the covers, she quietly got up and left her room. She’d learned the hard way that trying to go back to sleep would only result in more nightmares and it was better if she just stayed awake rather than have to wake up later screaming her throat raw. 

Slipping silently down the hall, she entered the darkened kitchen and headed straight for the cupboards. 

“If you’re looking for the bottle of vodka you hid in the back of the tea cupboard it’s right here.” The voice behind her made her jump and she spun around startled. 

Steve was leaning nonchalantly against the couch, her bottle of vodka in one hand and a cup of tea in the other. He tilted his head at her and raised an eyebrow, “why are you up?”

She snorted softly, “I could ask you the same thing. I thought I was the only one who was up this late.” She glanced at the clock which read two in the morning. Make that this early. 

He shrugged, “I couldn’t sleep and gave up trying a little bit ago.”

“What, so you just came here to drink my alcohol? That doesn’t sound very like you Rogers.” She smirked slightly and crossed the room, taking her drink from him. 

He smiled, “don’t worry I wasn’t drinking it. That stuff is strong enough to strip paint. I was waiting for you as a matter of fact.” His face changed to a more serious look and she hesitated.

“Oh?”

He sighed and got to his feet, “Nat, what I really wanted to talk about was a couple days ago. Our mission where you...froze. What exactly happened back there?” 

Her breath caught. Great. Exactly what she had counted on Steve not talking about was what he wanted to talk about. But something stopped her from shutting down the question completely. She had spent so long trying to hold the weight of her own guilt, turning people away whenever they tried to be friendly. Or even just tried to talk to her for whatever reason, good-willed or not. Maybe she could finally let some of it go.

“Do you remember when we were dealing with Ultron? And we found Wanda and Pietro?” She surprised both of them by starting to speak. And once she did she couldn’t stop. Like the words had always been there and were just waiting to come out. 

Steve recovered and nodded, chuckling slightly, “more like they found us and ripped us apart.”

She winced at his choice of words but continued, “when Wanda got to me she made me see what I feared. And, it was in the Red Room.” He voice caught and she had to pause for a little bit, not believing that she was actually talking about this. 

“After we saved Sokovia and destroyed Ultron I thought the visions were over. But I was wrong.” She shuddered slightly and took a sip of her vodka, feeling the sharp familiar burn as it slid down her throat, “in a way, that vision unlocked parts of my memories that I’d forgot about. They’re...not pleasant.” 

Steve looked concerned, “so you’ve been seeing memories?”

She shrugged, “pretty much.” 

He was silent for a moment, then, “I’m sorry Nat, that you have to see these. You don’t deserve any of that.” The genuine sorrow in his voice made her blush and she turned away, uncomfortable.

“We can’t change the past,” it came out rougher than she wanted, “all we can do is try to move on.” Her defensive walls were going back up and she felt herself harden as she slipped back into professional mode. 

Shifting away from Steve she stood and moved back to the cupboards. Stashing her drink back behind the tea boxes she turned back to him and met his eyes, “who knows? Maybe one day I can finally put all this behind me.” With that she left the room.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PLEASE NOTE: there is description of panic attacks in this chapter, if that bothers you in anyway please do NOT read!

Two days later and they still hadn’t talked anymore about what had happened. Steve because he didn’t want to push her and Natasha because she wan’t sure if she started talking, she would be able to stop.

It made for very awkward and stilted conversations. Of course, the others noticed. 

“Is something going on with you and Rogers?” Clint asked Natasha one day when they were sparring.

“No.” She aimed a blow at his head, “why?”

He shrugged and dodged her blow, “you guys seem very awkward lately, I was just wondering.”

“Oh.” She shook her head and grabbed his arm, twisting it around, “nothing’s wrong. We were just discussing my latest mission.”

“and...”

She frowned, “what do you mean and?”

He gave her an incredulous look and slipped out of her grasp, “you know what I mean Nat. Did you tell him about the Red Room?”

“Yeah.”

“Wait, what?” Clint stopped in his tracks and faced her, shocked. “You actually talked to someone that’s not me?”

She sighed and abandoned her fighting stance. “Yes I did. Although only because he was bugging me about it.”

He snorted, “yeah right and my last name isn’t Barton. Natasha, if someone were ‘bugging you’ you would probably break their arm. You don’t just tell people stuff.”

She raised an eyebrow, “nice to know my friend thinks that I’m a violent person who doesn’t tell people anything.” She caught his skeptical glance and punched him, “shut up.”

He laughed and shook his head, “I’m not judging I’m just surprised that you told Rogers.”

“Yeah well he probably would have exploded with worry and we don’t want that.”

“We don’t want that or you don’t want that?” Clint smirked as she went red.

“Alright that’s enough.” Quickly she stepped forwards and tackled him to the ground. “I thought you were better than this Barton.” He simply grinned at her in response

••••

The good mood did not last long. The evening was pretty uneventful and Natasha retired to bed early in hopes to get some rest.

Four hours later _...._

_[“Natalia!” The shout resonated in her head and she turned slowly._

_At the end of the room stood a shadow and she felt her heart skip a beat as it moved and she caught a glimpse of blonde hair._

_“Stop.” The voice was painfully familiar and she cursed quietly._

_“No.” She said shortly and her hand strayed to the handle of her gun._

_Her actions were mirrored as the woman moved closer, “Natalia,” she warned, “if you run they will hunt you.”_

_She nodded shortly, “I know. But I have a different job now.”_

_“So do I, and you know what it is.” The woman warned, her footsteps drawing closer. _She nodded, “I know, and I’m sorry.” She pulled the gun from its holster._ _

__Yelena’s eyes widened, “wait!”_ _

__Natasha pulled the trigger.]_ _

She let out a strangled shout and violently threw herself off the bed. Tears streamed down her cheeks and her hair was a wild mess, a direct result from the movement in her sleep. 

Gasping for air she raised her head and tried to calm her racing heart. It was almost succeeding when she caught sight of the gun on her side table. It was the one she had shot Yelena with.

Almost immediately her heart rate accelerated and her throat constricted. Yelena. 

Panic spiraled through her and her limbs trembled violently. Fighting to get the sheets off of her she let out a strangled sounding whimper. Her lungs were burning and oh god, she couldn’t breathe. 

She needed air. Desperately. Dimly through the mess in her mind she registered the sound of rain outside. Rain was welcome. It meant air. It would help her survive. She just had to get there first.

When Steve walked into her room some ten minutes later it was to find her bedroom in a mess. The blankets were torn and debris was littered throughout the room. 

“Nat?” He called, alarmed as he picked through a pile of crumpled papers. Then he saw the doors. 

In her panic Natasha had cracked the glass and accidentally ripped off the curtains. When Steve went out onto her balcony she was curled up in a ball shaking and shivering. It was pouring and thunder rumbled around them.

“Natasha?” He approached her slowly. “Are you okay?” He could see her back heaving and he realized she was having a panic attack. Then he wanted to smack himself, why hadn’t he realized it sooner as soon as he had seen her room? It was not uncommon for her to have attacks but he thought she had gotten better.

Except, he had been questioning her. He had flat out asked her about her freak outs when she clearly did not want to talk about them. He felt awful, it was all his fault. 

“Natasha it’s me Steve.” Carefully he approached her and was rewarded with a pair of red rimmed green eyes. They watched him warily. He smiled encouragingly at her, “you are safe at the Avengers compound. Tony Stark designed it and in my opinion you got the best room.”

It was working. He could see her calming down a bit as he talked. Rambling on he was just talking about the things he had gotten for dinner when she seemed to wake up.

“Steve?” Her voice was scratchy and thin but she was breathing normally and calmly. He gave her a concerned look, “you okay? What happened?” 

Frowning she looked over his shoulder at the doors, “I had a nightmare.” She murmured, “I saw Yelena again.”

He nodded even though he had no idea who ‘Yelena’ was. 

“It was my fault.” Natasha whispered her eyes welling up, “she got hurt and it was all my fault.” Tears were falling quickly down her cheeks, “oh my god, I’m a monster.” 


	4. Chapter 4

When Natasha woke the next morning she rolled onto her back and stared up at the ceiling for a moment before eventually coming to a conclusion. She was well and truly compromised. How was she going to get through missions if she couldn’t even leave her bedroom without triggering an attack?

Throwing off the cover she sat up. Or…tried to. A heavy weight was pinning one side of the sheet down and she wriggled around trying to see who was lying on top of them.

Squinting she made out an arm and then a chest and then familiar blonde hair. Very very familiar hair. She let out a yelp of surprise and reared back, forgetting that there was nothing behind her and promptly falling off the bed, again.

Steve came awake with a start and immediately turned to her looking concerned.

“Nat? How do you feel?”

She stared at him for a second before scowling, “what are you doing in my room?”

He looked even more concerned, “your room? Nat, we’re in my room.”

She froze. Sure enough when she looked around the first thing she saw was the classic red white and blue shield leaning against the dresser.

Slowly, bit by bit the details of last night came back to her. Her dream, the attack, and then Steve. Steve finding her outside in the rain and calming her down. Steve guiding her inside still crying and just sitting there as she sobbed in his arms. He must have carried her to his bed after she’d fallen asleep, not wanting her to stay in her wrecked room.

She was very touched and very mortified.

“Nat? You okay? You’re really pale.” Steve’s voice jostled her from her thoughts and she quickly nodded.

“I’m fine, I just need to change my clothes and take a shower.”

He opened his mouth to protest but she was already speeding out of the bedroom.

•••

She didn’t shower. Instead she sat on the edge of the bed with her head in her hands. This was getting more and more precarious. She could not let her feelings for Steve to get in the way of her job.

On the other hand, her job was looking pretty compromised if these attacks didn’t get any better. Sighing she glared at the carpet, she needed a proper distraction to get her mind off this mess.

Five minutes later she burst into Clint’s room.

“Clint! Will you spar with me?”

He paused, a slice of pizza halfway to his mouth. His eyes were wide as he stared at her.

“Um Tasha? Have you looked in a mirror recently?”

She frowned, “I was out in the rain last night.”

“Do tell me why.”

“I’ll tell you if you spar with me.”

“Fine.”

She grinned and left the room, heading for the gym. She was in such a good mood she didn’t even snap at Tony as he made his delirious way down to the kitchen for a much needed cup of coffee.

By the time Clint got down to the gym she had already changed into more appropriate clothing for sparring and was warming up. 

Spotting him she smiled, “ready for me to kick your ass?”

He rolled his eyes, “I’m pretty sure it’s the other way around and I am going to kick your ass.” In the middle of his sentence he threw a punch at her.

Not surprised she caught it and twisted his arm, to which he flipped out of and threw her to the ground. Springing back to her feet she gave him an approving look.

“Not bad Barton, better than yesterday at least.”

“I’ve been practicing. And you’re stalling.” He aimed a kick at her legs while simultaneously going for her head.

Dodging both she returned the blows, “I am not stalling. You want to know what happened last night? I had another attack and Steve was there to calm me down.”

He tilted his head, interested.

“Steve was there? I thought you were avoiding him.”

She snorted, “well you thought wrong then.”

“Is this about our conversation yesterday? Because it seems like it is.”

The comment made her hesitate just long enough to catch a punch right in the stomach. More surprised than hurt she found herself on her back with a worried Clint looking down at her.

“It is isn’t it?”

“Yeah.”

“Here,” he pulled her to her feet, “let’s talk about this somewhere else.”

•••

“So let me get this straight. You and Steve slept in the same bed?”

They were in Clint’s room. Natasha lying upside down on the bed while he sprawled in an armchair.

“Is that the only thing that you picked up from this? Seriously?”

He shrugged.

“What else was I supposed to say? This isn’t the first time you’ve had an attack like this Tash. At least someone was there this time.”

She shuddered and nodded, “good point. Anyways its just that Steve was there. He saw everything. I mean, besides you, not a lot of people have seen me cry.”

Clint sighed, “Tasha, you know it’s more than that. If these attacks keep happening then soon other people are going to find out. Maybe even ones you don’t want to will find out.”

She looked away, “you don’t think I know that? Every time this happens to me I realize that. Sometimes...I even want to go back to Wanda and tell her to, I don’t know, wipe my mind clean. But then I would have to tell her what she did to me and she doesn’t need that kind of guilt on her conscience.”

Rolling onto her stomach she sighed. “All I want is one night of sleep! Is that so hard to ask for?!”

“You haven’t been sleeping?” Steve’s voice cut through her thoughts.

Jerking upright she lost her balance and crashed onto the floor.

“Tasha! Are you okay?” Clint asked as she sat up.

“Is this some kind of joke?” She muttered, “because if it is I am not amused.”

She looked up and rolled her eyes at the worried looks on both Steve and Clint’s faces. Standing up she grabbed Clint’s shirt and dragged him towards the bathroom.

“Excuse me Cap but I’ll just be a moment.”

Slamming the door closed behind them she sighed.

“What does it take to get some peace and quiet around here?”

Clint shrugged and sat on the counter, “he’s just worried about you.”

“But that’s the thing! People don’t get worried about me. From when I could talk no one cared about me. I never even knew my parents.” Her voice trailed off slightly and she felt a wave of moroseness wash over her.

Staring at the floor she didn’t realize she was crying until she blinked and a tear splashed down her nose.

“Oh Tasha, I’m sorry,” Clint sighed and slipped off the counter, rubbing her back as she let out a low sob.

“I’m all alone aren’t I?” She cried trying in vain to stop the tears from falling any further.

“Natasha?”

Oh no. Not him again. It was bad enough he already had to see her like this once.

Opening her mouth she was about to tell him to go when she felt Clint shift away from her and the next second somebody else was beside her.

“I’m sorry Nat, if I’d known that you were upset with me there I wouldn’t just stayed on the couch.”

Sniffling, she managed a shaky laugh. “Ever the gentleman aren’t you?”

There was a quiet laugh and as she stood there she felt an idea start to form. “ ‘m goin’ ‘ay.” She mumbled quietly as the idea started to harden and take hold.

“Sorry?”

She looked up at Steve, her watery green eyes meeting his worried blue ones.

“I’m going away, to Russia. I never knew my parents. I’ve never looked for them but...I need answers. Who knows? Maybe by finding them I’ll finally find someone and I won’t be alone.”

If her spur of the moment speech surprised him, he gave no outward sign. Instead he nodded and squeezed her hand (since when had he been holding it?).

“If you’re gong to Russia then I’m going with you.”

Well, she definitely hadn’t been expecting that.


	5. Chapter 5

“You’re what?!” Tony and Wanda wore twin expressions of shock.

Natasha shrugged slightly, “I’m going back to Russia. I don’t know when I’ll be back.”

“Trust me,” Clint spoke up from his spot on the counter, “I was shocked too.”

They were in the kitchen of the compound. Natasha was calmly making coffee, Tony and Wanda were not so calmly staring at her over forgotten cereal, Clint was watching the fun.

“Can I ask why?” Tony asked and she shrugged.

“I can’t stay here right now. I gotta go and figure some stuff out and the only place I can do that is in Russia, so I am going.”

Behind them the door opened and they all looked up as Steve entered the kitchen.

“Hey Capsicle! Have you heard the news?” Tony said jokingly.

Steve came to an abrupt stop and his eyes found Natasha almost immediately.

“Oh I’ve heard.”

He said darkly. Reaching into the cupboard he rummaged through it for a moment before pulling out a bottle of vodka. Tipping it in Natasha’s direction he raised an eyebrow.

“See you around Romanoff.”

Turning on his heel he stormed back out of the kitchen.

“What was that about?” Wanda asked, shocked.

Natasha crossed his arms.

“He’s mad. At me. For reasons that I would like to leave unsaid. He also took my drink.”

Tony snorted, “He must be pretty mad to actually drink. Last I remembered Cap couldn’t get drunk and never tried.”

She turned to him startled, “where did you get that information?”

“Um, I was just talking to him.”

“You?” She said sarcastically, “were ‘just’ talking to Steve Rogers. Think of something better.”

“It’s because she wouldn’t let him go with her to Russia.” Clint said suddenly.

Tony who had been about to argue back stopped. He and Wanda quickly exchanged looks before turning back to Clint.

“May I ask why he wanted to go to Russia with you?” He asked carefully.

“It’s none of your damn business is why!” She snapped, losing her temper. Grabbing her coffee cup she stormed out after Steve leaving a silent room behind.

“Can someone tell me what just happened?” Wanda finally asked.

“Honestly,” Tony started, “I’m not sure.”

•••

“Steve! Wait!” Natasha called doing her best to not drop her drink and chase down an angry super soldier.

“What is it?” He asked slowing down slightly.

“I need to talk to you.”

Coming to a stop he dragged a hand over his eyes.

“What is it?”

Frowning she raised an eyebrow.

“Why did you want to go to Russia with me?”

“Does it really matter?”

“Yes! Why would you want to go somewhere with me that’s not a mission?”

Steve let out an incredulous laugh. Shaking his head he looked at her disappointed.

“Natasha I want to go with you because guess what? I’m your friend. And friends don’t let friends go off somewhere alone after watching them have a panic attack.”

He was staring at her with an intensity that made her pause. It wasn’t the pity she expected, it was determination. He was going to follow her, she realized, regardless of whether she wanted him to or not, he was going to follow her.

Dropping her gaze she nodded, “fine. You can come with me, but for god’s sakes ask before you take my drinks.”

Snorting he held it out to her, “I was never going to drink it. Although it did its job perfectly.”

“Job?”

Grinning, he started walking backwards.

“I don’t drink vodka very often, you know that. So I figured if I took the bottle in front of the others than you would think something was wrong and come after me. It worked too, faster than I thought it would.”

She laughed, she couldn’t help it. “You are ridiculous.”

“It’s one of my talents.” He called back over his shoulder.

She shook her head and went back to her room to pack


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, quick word, sorry for any typos that may occur I was a little rushed in trying to compete this chapter. Also this may be a little confusing but the next chapter will *hopefully* clear up any confusion.

Four hours later and she was lifting a jet into the air, watching as all her friends stood below.

Well, almost all of them.

Steve was sitting in the seat next to her, sketchbook open in his lap. Something remarkable considering he was pretty protective of his drawings and showed almost no one the finished products.

Shaking away her thoughts she concentrated on flying the jet. It was a pretty easy feat yet she could feel the tremors as they rose higher. Frowning she tried to keep them going at a smooth pace. Still, the tremors persisted.

“Come on.” She muttered to herself and tried once again to raise them up.

A shudder went through the jet and she exhaled in disgust. Surely she hadn’t let her flying skills worsen that much?

“Here.”

Surprised she turned to Steve who had been watching her struggle for the last minute.

Reaching over, he covered her hands in his and with a start she realized they’d been shaking.

Numbly she watched as he guided them up higher and leveled them off smoothly and quickly.

“Thanks,” She said quietly. “I’d tell you why I’m apparently afraid of flying but I don’t even know.”

He made a dismissive sound. “Doesn’t matter to me.”

Nodding she settled into the seat and kept her eyes firmly trained on the sky in front of her. 

The first hour passed in a silence. After a while though, she heard Steve get up and rummage around in the duffel bag he’d brought. Coming back to his seat she glanced at him and noted the small bag of candies.

“I didn’t know you had a sweet tooth.” She commented, then felt bad. What else did she not know?

He shrugged slightly. “Tony gave me some as a joke but I ate them and they were actually pretty good. Want some?”

He tipped the bag her way and she hesitantly took a small yellow ball. Putting it in her mouth she was surprised at the temporary sour burst on her tongue.

“Wow, I can see why you like those so much. They’re oddly good.”

He nodded and they fell into a comfortable silence, only broken by the occasional rustle when one of them grabbed a new candy.

She found it soothing. To be able to just spend the passing hours in silence while they enjoyed a simple snack. It was a welcomed change from the stress she’d been feeling back at the compound.

Leaning back in the seat she didn’t fight the sleepiness coming over her. In a rare moment of calm she willingly let herself rest.

Steve waited until she was fully asleep before getting up. Taking care to move as quietly as possible, he rummaged through one of the storage compartments until he found the blankets. Taking one he unfolded it and gently placed it over her shoulders.

Returning back to his seat he breathed out a small sigh of content and picked up his sketchbook. Looking around for inspiration his gaze landed on the sleeping figure beside him. Lowering the pencil to the paper he started drawing.

•••

Natasha woke with a start. Disoriented she sat up and felt something slip from around her shoulders.

It was a blanket. Picking it up she turned to Steve with a questioning look. He was sitting in the chair, concentrating fiercely the sketchbook in his lap.

She waited until he glanced up before clearing her throat.

He startled and automatically slammed the book closed. When he saw it was her his look of alarm melted into dismay.

“You’re awake.”

She shrugged, “I am. Don’t worry though, it wasn’t a nightmare or anything. Just woke up of my own accord.”

He nodded and sat up a little straighter, “how far away are we?”

Checking the flight on one of the screens, Natasha clicked a few buttons before answering his question. “We’re about an hour out. You can sleep now if you want, I won’t go back to sleep.”

Steve nodded and after neatly stowing his art supplies, made himself comfortable. Within a few minutes he was sound asleep and snoring slightly. 

Natasha envied him. His ability to fall asleep so quickly and stay asleep. He could probably get a full night’s sleep if he wanted. She sighed and rested her head on her hand, watching as their plane tracker grew nearer and nearer to their destination.

As the darkness on the horizon turned to a grey color she shook Steve awake.

“Are we here?” He asked blearily as he tried to see out of the windows.

Ignoring the easily answered question, she put in a new coordinates and started their descent.

“Um, Nat?”

“Yeah?”

Steve twisted and peered at their location on the screen.

“Where are we going to land? I don’t think we can just land in the airport without contacting

the-”

Natasha gave him a look and he stopped talking.

“Look, I put on a cloaking device for the quinjet. Besides we’re not going to the airport, we’re going to my apartment.”

Steve looked more confused but kept quiet and contented himself with trying to catch a glimpse of the city. Unfortunately for him the cloaking device made it hard to see much of anything.

“Here we are.” Natasha concentrated fiercely as she stopped the jet and made it hover. Narrowing her eyes she slowly eased the jet down. The timing had to be right for this or else she was going to crash their jet and then they would have far more problems on their hands.

With a last careful glance down she lowered the jet down further and felt the wheels hit the ground.

Grinning, she made sure they were safely grounded before turning off the jet and turning to look at Steve. He was staring at her, evidently confused.

“How..?”

Standing she hit a lever and the jets door opened.

“I’ll explain everything when we’re inside. Come on.”

Quietly they exited the jet and Steve raised his eyebrows as he found himself in an apparent courtyard. Apparent, because something felt off. He couldn’t describe it but there was something there that felt wrong.

Natasha must have felt it too because she gripped his elbow tightly.

“Let’s get inside.”

Leading him to a pair of heavy wooden doors she pushed them open. They were in an old abandoned building Steve realized, and he turned to Natasha who shook her head warningly. They needed to be quiet.

Leading him to the stairwell they started the journey up. As they drew nearer to her apartment though, Natasha had the prickling sensation she was being watched. Quietly she reached into her boot and pulled out a gun. 

Steve looked slightly alarmed and his senses were on full alert as they pushed through the doors that led them down a dusty hallway.

Finally Natasha stopped at a pair of doors that were surprisingly well kept. Looking back at Steve one final time she opened the doors and slipped through. He quietly followed her and was surprised to see that everything was clean and looked slightly new.

Holding her gun at the ready, Natasha crept down the hallway. Her eyes were pinned to the kitchen door where, ever so slightly, she could hear a scraping sound as someone moved around.

“I know you’re out there.”

The voice made the pair startle.

Natashas stomach was trying desperately to revolt but she ignored it and stepped into the doorway.

Her eyes widened and for the briefest moment she saw familiar blonde hair. Then there was a click and she froze as Yelena Belova drew her gun and aimed at her.

Tilting her head slightly she clicked her tongue, “I see the tables have turned now Natalia.”


	7. Chapter 7

Yelena was sitting in a chair facing them. With disdain in her eyes she looked them both over before getting to her feet.

“Brought a guest I see.” She said dryly and Natasha tensed slightly.

Steve said nothing but tried to make himself look as non threatening as possible. Yelena watched them amused.

“Not going to introduce him? How rude.” Pulling out a shot glass from the cupboard she filled it with a flask from an inner pocket of her coat. Never looking away she filled the glass and tipped it in their direction.

“To the happy couple.” She downed the shot.

“We’re not together.” Natasha said quietly wondering how quickly she could go for her gun and distract Yelena.

“You sure about that?” Yelena snorted and looked down.

It was the opening Natasha needed. Shoving Steve back she simultaneously raised the gun in her hand and turned to face her fellow Widow.

The first shot hit the wall two inches to her left. Yelena no longer looked amused, her face was determined and she advanced closer, her gun held steady.

“Yelena,” Natasha warned, “we don’t have to fight each other all the time.”

The second shot found its target.

Burning pain rushed through her side and she stumbled backwards; barely able to fend off Yelena as she attacked.

She would have regained her bearings and fought back had Steve not shouted her name. He’d seen her get hurt and it was purely reflex that she looked over at him. The punch connected with her jaw and she fell. Desperate to regain control she kicked upwards, aiming for Yelenas knee.

It connected successfully but Yelena was strong and Natasha just didn’t have the strength as she did months ago. She felt weight on her chest and neck and a victorious Yelena glared down at her.

“You’re weak.” She said contemptuous. Releasing her hold on her windpipe she got off her and watched as she clambered to her feet.

“Thanks.” Natasha muttered breathlessly as she examined the wound on her side. An anxious Steve materialized next to her and wordlessly he nudged away her hands so he could examine it for her.

Rolling her eyes she let him and looked at Yelena who was watching them with crossed arms. Raising her eyebrows she waited. After a moments hesitation Yelena crossed to the cupboards and retrieved a roll of bandages. Tossing it at Steve she settled herself onto the counter and started the questions.

“What are you looking for?” 

Natasha narrowed her eyes, “how do you know I’m looking for something?”

“You show up here weak and desperate, something here makes you think that you’ll be okay. You just need to find it.”

“She’s not weak.” Steve said sharply and they both looked at him surprised. He was glaring at the bandages in his hands.

“She’s stronger than you think and she’s here for her parents.”

Yelena straightened, her face going pale.

“Your…parents?”

Natasha and Steve both nodded and watched curious as Yelena looked anxious.

“Do you know where they are?” Natasha asked, letting some of her hope seep into her words.

Yelena smoothed her expression over into the neutral range and nodded. “I have an idea of where they are.” Despite her words she still looked uneasy.

“What is it? Is something wrong?” Steve prompted and she glared at him.

“Nothing’s wrong. I just think that the people we need to retrieve the information won’t exactly want to meet you guys, especially America over there.”

Steve looked taken aback. “Why me? I don’t know anybody in Russia.”

Yelena simply shook her head and walked to the door. “Come on, I’ll help you with your luggage.”

When they didn’t move she frowned and looked them over carefully. “You did bring luggage right?”

Natasha nodded and she raised her eyebrow, “so come on then.”

Finally Natasha relented and walked forwards, Steve following close behind.

As they descended through the dark stairwell again however, he spoke up again. “How were we able to get the jet down?”

There was a small huff of amusement, “you were able to get the jet down because Natalia here got Tony Stark to help disguise the houses. It looks normal on the outside but on the inside it’s completely different.”

Steve made a small noise of interest which Natasha ignored and concentrated on not tripping and falling down the stairs. Knowing Steve he was probably going to ask her why she told Tony and not him about her secret safe house in Russia; a question she really did not want to answer.

So she ignored his small attempts at conversation and instead thought about the burning pain in her side. The bullet hurt (not that she was going to tell anyone), so it was a good distraction.

Finally Yelena led them out into the courtyard. Stomping up the ramp she disappeared inside and they watched amused as she re-emerged with their bags in tow. Throwing them at their feet she brushed past them and they turned right around to go back up the stairway.

“You know you could have just gone down to get them for us and saved us a trip up and down the stairs.” Natasha commentated dryly as they reached the doors.

Yelena looked back at her, smirking. “What’s the point in that? Watching you guys go up and down the stairs for nothing was fun.”

She shook her head. Mischievous one moment and murderous the next, Yelena was one of the most dangerous Widows she knew. Which meant she had access to places where her parents could be.

So as soon as they got back into the kitchen she dropped her bag and planted herself firmly in front of her. Because injury or not Natasha needed answers and her patience was starting to wear thin.

“Yelena, I _need_ you to tell me what you know about my parents.”

Yelena gave her a long look before letting out a long sigh.   
  
“Alright,” she started, “have either of you heard of the Winter Soldier?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope this explained a few things and I’m sorry if there are any mistakes.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for this late chapter, I got distracted. Anyways, this is rather short but I hope you like it.

“This is a bad idea.”

“Shut up it is not.”

“Tash, face it, this is a bad idea.”

Natasha whirled around, ignoring the lock she was supposed to be opening. 

“Since when have you called me Tash?”

Steve shrugged, “it got your attention didn’t it?”

She rolled her eyes and abandoned the lock. Standing up she dusted off her hands.

“What is it Steve?”

He hesitated before responding. “Are you absolutely sure this is the best idea? I mean, Yelena tried to kill you. Plus you’re still angry with Bucky.”

Natasha sighed. So that’s what’s off. “Look,” she started, “I know my reaction was bad back there but now that Yelena’s explained everything I know what’s going on. Trust me, I won't hurt your friend.”

Giving him a reassuring smile she turned back to the door they were standing in front of and resumed her lock picking.

Steve sighed, that wasn’t quite the thing he had in mind but it was better than nothing. Truth be told he didn’t care at all that they were about to see the Winter Soldier, he was more concerned about what the Soldier was going to say to Natasha about her parents. After all, he was an assassin for hire and if Yelena said that he had information on Natasha’s parents then Steve was pretty sure it meant that they were dead.

Not that he would ever tell her that. She would kick his ass.

But still, he had a bad feeling in the pit of his stomach.

“Got it!” Natasha straightened and gave him another smile, “now let's go talk to your friend.”

~~~

Natasha wasn’t surprised when they learned that the Winter Soldier lived in a warehouse. She herself had been forced to hide and in the long run a warehouse was the equivalent of a mansion.

As they entered she kept her senses on high alert. If she’d learned anything from his attack on SHIELD it was that he attacked in the most unexpected moments.

So it came as a surprise when they found him waiting for them.

He was perched on top of a stack of old wooden pallets, watching them as they entered.

“Bucky?” Steve asked as they neared and Natasha cast him a warning glance. They weren’t here for that.

Bucky shifted slightly but otherwise said nothing. 

“We aren’t here to capture you.” She said, making sure he saw that she held no weapon. “We just came here because Yelena told me you had information for me.”

“Yelena?” Bucky’s response was quiet but she caught it.

“Yes. She said you know about my parents.”

He stood and in one smooth movement dropped soundlessly to the ground. Approaching them he gave her a curious look.

“Your parents?”

She nodded and held her breath as she waited for his response.

Finally he spoke. “I don’t know their status but I do know where they live. I was hired to protect them once.”

She tilted her head slightly, “protect them?”

He nodded and reached into the inside of his jacket.

Steve stiffened and he moved closer to Natasha almost instantly.

They gave him an amused look and he blushed. “Sorry.”

Turning back to Bucky Natasha held out her hand and accepted the file he was holding out. “And this has their location?”

“Yes. Yelena should be able to get you there.”

Natasha’s fingers tightened around the folder and she nodded. “Thank you so much.”

He shrugged. “I couldn’t not help you guys. Not after you helped me.”

Steve, who had remained quiet, couldn't hold his tongue anymore. “Can I talk to you?”

Bucky looked wary but he nodded and Natasha turned to go. “I’ll give you guys some privacy.”

As her footsteps faded away Steve took in a deep breath and studied his friend closely. Despite his living conditions he looked alright and he couldn’t find any trace of the pain in his eyes that he’d seen on the Helicarrier.

“You okay?” He finally asked.

Bucky nodded, “I don’t have to go through any of the stuff Hydra did to me anymore.”

Steve felt relief, “you know you can come with us. You wouldn’t have to be alone anymore.”

For a moment he looked tempted but then he shook his head. “Thanks but I think I need to be on my own on this.”

Steve wasn’t surprised. “Okay.”

Giving him a reassuring smile he turned to go.

“Steve, take care of her.” Bucky’s voice had a teasing note in it.

As Steve looked at him in confusion he jerked his chin in the direction Natasha had walked off in. “Natasha. You like her. Tell her that alright? You should be happy. Besides, I can tell she likes you back.” A rare grin appeared at the sight of Steve’s stunned face and he allowed himself a quick chuckle before he disappeared back into the shadows. 

Steve was tempted to chase him down. Was it really that obvious that he liked Natasha? Did she know? Did she really like him back?

His mind was still in turmoil when he left the warehouse. He found Natasha sitting not that far away from the door.

“Hey,” she scrambled to her feet. “What did you want to talk to him about?”

He stared at her for a moment before forcing a somewhat normal expression onto his face.

“I just wanted to make sure he knew he could come with us if he wanted to.”

She nodded and gave him a curious look. “What did he say?”

“He said no.” Steve was horrible at hiding the truth and he knew it so he quickly changed the subject. “Will Yelena be at the apartment?”

Natasha nodded cheerfully, “Yup. Now let’s go, we’re wasting time here talking. We’ve got people to find.” Beckoning him on she started the walk back to the apartment. Steve stared after her for a moment before starting after her.

 _This_ , he thought, _is going to end very very badly_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Get ready for Steve and Natasha being complete idiots. Also, as always, if something is confusing then it will probably be explained later on.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PLEASE NOTE: There is description of panic attack in this chapter, if that is upsetting for you please do NOT read.

Steve was being weird. Natasha knew it, Yelena knew it, even Steve knew it. But she didn’t know why and that frustrated her to no end.

Even now as they sat at the kitchen table she watched as he slowly pulled apart the bread Yelena had made him. 

“Steve.” She said quietly, “eat it.”

He looked at her and nodded before cautiously giving the food a sniff.

“I didn’t poison that you know.” Yelena said as she walked into the kitchen. She was dressed in her full Widow’s suit with the exception of a green vest pulled over it. “I don’t like you but I’m not going to kill you.”

Steve forced a laugh but still didn’t eat.

Natasha was worried. “Is everything okay?” She asked tentatively and he nodded.

“Yeah, I’m just…worried for Bucky.”

“Sure.” Yelena muttered but she fell quiet under the glare that the other woman sent her.

Steve heard her though, courtesy of his enhanced hearing. Climbing to his feet he headed for the small room Yelena had given him.

As the door slammed shut behind him Natasha turned to Yelena, confused.

“What the hell are you doing?”

“Um,” Yelena got out a shot glass. “I’m just saying the truth. It’s not Bucky that’s on his mind right now.”

Natasha stared at her confusion, “then who is?”

Yelena sighed. “It’s you Nat.”

She spat out the water she’d been drinking. “What?!”

“Oh come on, don’t tell me you guys aren’t in love. You’re more than just teammates, I’ve seen the way you two look at each other.”

Natasha stared at her friend in shock. Leaning forwards she took the shot glass Yelena had filled and downed it quickly.

“I am not in love with Steve Rogers.” She said firmly. “He’s my friend, nothing else.”

Yelena poured her another shot. “Whatever you say.”

She glared at her, annoyed. “Drop it. We are not in love.”

~~~

“So Bucky told us that you’d know where the location is.”

It was much later after Steve had finally come out of his room. They were all seated around the small kitchen table, the folder from Bucky in the middle.

Sliding it over Natasha watched as her fellow Widow opened it and studied the papers inside. Finally she closed it and thoughtfully tapped it against the edge of the table.

“I know where this is, I’ve been there before. You’re sure this is where Bucky said you should go?” She asked, looking troubled.

She nodded and fidgeted slightly, “what is it? You know something, I can tell.”

“It’s nothing.” Yelena said, “just didn’t have the best experience when I was last in the area.” Her eyes flickered briefly and Natasha felt a pang of anger deep in her chest. The best experience. When they’d tried to kill each other.

Steve cleared his throat. “So how quickly can we get there?”

Yelena hesitated. “Uhm, I think we should go in the morning. At night this place is crawling with some, hostile, groups. Even though we’re all pretty deadly it’s not a good idea to just walk in there til daylight.”

Natasha wasn’t convinced. Something was definitely up. First with Steve and now with Yelena. She glared at the both of them. This was why she’d wanted to do this visit alone, one something happened to a teammate the focus was thrown off.

Yelena’s words came echoing back to her. _You’re more than just teammates._

Suddenly the memory of Steve tricking her came flooding back.

_“I want to go with you because guess what? I’m your friend.”_

She surged up out of her chair and stumbled back from the table. Ignoring the confused looks from Steve and Yelena she gasped for air. Her pulse was racing.

“Nat? What’s going on? What’s wrong?” Steve was in front of her in an instant, his hand already reaching for her arm to steady her.

“No!” Her voice was sharper than she intended. “I…”

_The smiles sent her way after missions. The way he always checked on her when she was hurt. Were those just the actions of friends?_

She wasn’t aware of moving. Faintly her mind registered a door slamming shut and a water tap being turned on. Bracing herself over the sink she struggled to calm down.

_The sparring. Talks late at night when they couldn’t sleep. Remembering her birthday and throwing a party. He just thought of her as a friend._

_Right?_

“Nat. Look at me.”

“I’m-” she shook her head avoiding his gaze, “I can’t- I’m not, I’m not-”

“Hey,” his voice was gentle, “Tasha, please look at me.”

She obeyed and he smiled. “Now, can I touch you?”

Managing a nod she shivered as he gripped her hands in his. “Okay, now keep looking at me and just try to mimic me okay?” He drew in a deep breath and she did the best she could, managing to get some air in. Her lungs didn’t quite have that same burning feeling.

“Good, now exhale.” He breathed out and she followed.

Gradually her pulse slowed and her breathing got less and less shaky as she calmed. Sliding down to the ground she kept a tight grip on Steve’s hand.

“Don’t leave me.” She finally whispered.

Pulling her into his arms he held her tightly. “I’m not going anywhere.”

She relaxed into him and felt her eyes grow heavy. The stress of the days events were starting to take their toll. She could feel herself hovering on the edge of the sleep and she was so tempted to just give in, to just rest in Steve’s arms...

Her eyes snapped open.

Tearing herself away she shot to her feet.

“I’m so sorry for bothering you. I, uhm, I’m gonna go.” Without waiting for an answer she quickly left the room.

When she reached the room she was sharing with Yelena she quickly slammed the door before slumping against it.

“You still wanna tell me that you’re not in love with him?” Yelena’s voice sounded from the bed.

Natasha glared at her in the dark. 

“Shut up.”


	10. Chapter 10

“So where are we going again?”

Natasha winced at the loudness of Steves voice. If anyone was around they were going to hear him instantly.

“I’ll explain it when we get there.” She muttered.

They fell back into an awkward silence.

Yelena looked at them before rolling her eyes. Those two were such idiots. She was sorely tempted to knock their heads together. Maybe then they’d wake up and realize they were in love.

Scanning her surroundings she led them across the street and towards what appeared to be a small field covered with crumbling stones.

“Are those...” Natasha trailed off and instinctively Steve gripped her hand.

They were gravestones.

Yelena broke the lock on the gate and they quickly slipped inside.

Except for the occasional crunch of leaves underfoot their approach was silent. The quiet made Natasha’s skin crawl and she was thankful for Steve’s hand in hers. Something about this place was freaking her out.

Yelena hesitated and, for a brief moment, looked like she was going to run. Reaching inside her coat she withdrew the file and opened it.

“Does it say where they live?” Steve said softly.

“No.”

They both glanced at Natasha startled. She was staring at the surrounding buildings. Eyes narrowing she pointed to one crumbling house.

“I used to live there.” She whispered.

The glance turned to full on staring as Natasha broke away from them and moved forwards. There was a haunted look on her face as she studied the field.

“I used to play in this field when I was younger. It’s a graveyard.”

The details came rushing back and she turned back to the others. Meeting their gazes she inhaled deeply.

“My parents are dead aren’t they?”

Yelena looked somber. “The file didn’t say where they were buried. It just said that they were here.”

Natasha nodded and looked back at the gravestones.

“I think…I think I remember the service. But, after that it goes dark.” Frowning she moved to the closest gravestone and crouched down. Studying it and the words carved into it she spent only a moment looking at it before she moved to the next one. She was looking, they realized, looking for her parents graves.

Wordlessly, Steve and Yelena shared a glance before joining her in her search.

They had covered three quarters of the graveyard before Natasha found them.

She was crouched in front of two stones, nestled side by side against the chain link fence. They were almost hidden by the weeds and yet Natasha knew that this was where her parents had been laid to rest.

Reaching out she took a firm hold of a weed and pulled. Ignoring the pain as the course blades dug into her palms she yanked it out and tossed it to the side. Quickly wiping her palms on her pants she reached for another.

At some point Steve joined and together they ripped up the rest of the weeds.

When it was done Natasha reached into her jacket and withdrew a rose.

The petals were crumpled and the flower was looking a little wilted, nevertheless it still held its rich red color. Straightening the petals, Natasha carefully laid it onto the ground before the graves.

After a quiet moment she climbed to her feet and turned to Yelena who looked defeated.

“Who killed them?” Her voice was quiet and level yet Yelena could hear the raw emotion lying just underneath.

“I’m sorry?” Even Steve heard the tremble in her voice.

“Someone killed them right?” Natasha looked both furious and heartbroken.

Yelena stared at the file in her hands, unable to speak.

“ANSWER ME!” Her head jerked up in shock as the words echoed around them.

Yelena looked helpless. “Natalia….” she started but Natasha cut her off.

“No! It’s not Natalia! I cannot ever be that person again!” her voice rose and she took a menacing step forwards, “Who. Killed. Them?”

Meeting her gaze she cleared her throat. “I didn’t know who they were.” Tears were pooling in her eyes as she looked imploringly at her. “I thought they were just an old couple.”

Natasha looked like she was going to be sick. “But you knew when I asked. You knew who they were and you didn’t tell me? You and Barnes?”

Behind her, Steve inhaled sharply. Ignoring him she kept her gaze pinned on her fellow Widow.

“And if you knew, then why didn’t you tell me?”

Yelena sighed and reluctantly met her gaze, “I didn’t know until recently, I swear.”

Natasha turned away her eyes burning as she felt betrayal burn through her. Yelena took a step forwards, “please, Natal- Natasha, I was going to tell you.”

“No you weren’t.” Natasha met her eyes and she shook her head, “you wouldn’t have ever told me if it meant that your secret was safe right?”

For once Yelena was quiet. And even though she hadn’t said a word, her silence was all Natasha needed.

She turned away. And then spun on her foot, and punched her in the jaw. Hard. 

Stumbling backwards, Yelena fell heavily onto the ground, her breath driven from her lungs as her back hit the ground.

Looking up, her eyes widened as she saw Natasha above her. Her hand already closing around the handle of her gun. Not even bothering to retaliate, she simply threw up her hands and closed her eyes, waiting for the shot to come.

“Wait!” Steve grabbed Natasha around the waist and dragged her back. He knew full well that in her state now she wouldn’t hesitate to take her grief out on Yelena.

“Let me go!” she yelled angrily trying to wrench herself free. “She deserves this! She murdered them! I want her to hurt!”

“I know you do.” Steve said quickly, “but she feels your pain. Trust me, she’s been feeling the hurt since she found out who exactly her targets were.”

Were. As in past tense. Just like that all the fight drained out of her.

“She- sh-” A sob emerged and her legs gave out.

Steve caught her and sank with her to the ground.

“They’re gone.” She cried, “they’re really gone.”

“I know.” He murmured, “I’m so sorry Nat.”

He held her tightly and let her sob into his shirt, not minding that she was clenching it to the point of ripping. Instead he focused on just holding her.

“I know how you feel. Just let it out, you’ll feel better.”

***

When it was much later (and darker) the three finally made it back tot he apartment.

Yelena wandered off down the hall and Steve was sorely tempted to go after her. The person leaning against him however, reminded him that he had someone else to take care of first.

Throughout the whole walk home, Natasha had completely shut down. She’d just kept her head down and stumbled onwards.

Now, he gently led her to the couch and made her sit down. Draping her shoulders with a blanket he tried to talk to her. He might have been talking to the wall for all of the reaction he got out of her.

Natasha I need you to listen to me. You need to say something.” Despite his pleading, she remained slumped and her eyes fixed on her hands.

Sadly, he made her lay down before getting up to go to the kitchen.

Rummaging through the cabinets he found a bag of coffee and after a few minutes had a pot going.

He’d just poured the first mug when a shuffling noise made him look up. Natasha stood in the entrance, her eyes fixed on the coffee. Moving closer she accepted the cup and sipped the hot liquid tentatively. After her third sip she looked at Steve who was savoring his own cup.

“I want to go home.” He nearly dropped the mug at the whisper. “What did you say?” He asked quickly.

Natasha was staring at her hands again, “I want to go home.” She repeated a little louder.

Steve felt his heart ache at the wobble in her voice. Still, he knew if he tried to help she would lash out at him. So all he did was nod.

“Then let’s go home.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So...now for everything else. The part where Natasha pulled up the weeds was from the deleted scene in CA: CW where Natasha said that she went back to Russia and found her parents graves (that scene was actually the inspiration for this).   
> The part where she says she remembers her parents however, was from the book Black Widow Forever Red when Ava sees Natasha’s memories.   
> As always, if something is confusing, it will probably get explained later. :)


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone, sorry for the big gap between when I last posted and this chapter. I was really busy. But! I am back now and not going anywhere. I also put that there will be thirteen chapters so we’re in the home stretch.

When the jet broke through the cloud cover and Steve caught a glimpse of the compound he let out a breath of relief.

The others were already outside and waiting as the jet dropped out of the air and onto the landing pad with only slight difficulties.

By the time Steve had turned off the engine and checked to make sure that everything was secure, Clint had already opened and was halfway up the ramp.

Glancing around he spotted Natashas slumped form and quickly hurried over. 

“Tasha?” His voice was gentle despite the worry written all over his face.

Natasha stirred and lifted her head. When she saw him, relief made her perk up even as fresh tears welled up in her eyes.

“Clint.” Her voice caught in her throat and she stopped.

Still, he got the message. Unbuckling her seatbelt he scooped her up in his arms and quickly lifted her up.

“I’ve got her now.” He whispered to Steve as they passed by.

He nodded and watched as they disappeared into the tower. Despite the hope he felt at Natasha’s response, he also felt strangely unhappy at the sight of Clint carrying her away. Thankfully he had no time to dwell on the feeling as Tony and Wanda boarded the jet.

“What happened over there?” Wanda asked, her voice hushed.

He sighed. “She went after her parents.” Was all he said.

Tony got it right away and he looked somber. “Damn. She must be taking it hard.”

He nodded and Wanda looked upset. “Well, what can we do?”

“Give her space.” Steve grabbed his bag. “At this point I think that’s all she wants.”

***

Clint brought her to her room, which had been repaired during her absence. Carrying her past the bed he entered the bathroom and unceremoniously set her in the bathtub. She looked up right as he turned on the water and caught a face full of water.

Spluttering, she coughed violently and tried to get up. Clint grabbed her shoulders and gave her a stern look. “You need this, now stay put.”

Relenting she held still as he quickly rinsed her hair and cleaned off the dirt and grime from the past week.

When he finally turned off the water and helped her into a clean set of clothes she was feeling much better.

“Thank you.” She murmured as he towel dried her hair.

“No problem. I’m your friend, I’ll always be here for you.” He gave her shoulder a comforting squeeze before reaching for a brush and attacking her tangled hair.

 _“I’m not going anywhere.”_ Steve had promised to stay too.

“Clint,” her voice was trembling again. “Clint my parents are dead.”

He hesitated slightly, “I heard. Are you alright?”

She furrowed her eyebrows, “why’re you asking me? They’re the ones who are dead.”

He put down the brush and crossed to stand in front of her. “I’m asking you because you seem pretty...upset. Was it Yelena who killed them?”

She gave a hollow laugh, “you remember Yelena, figures. And yes, it was her. I should have known.”

He frowned, “you couldn’t have known. You two tried to kill each other and when it didn’t work she severed all connections. She disappeared after Budapest and we never saw her. We thought she was dead Tasha, remember? How can you expect someone you thought was dead to kill your parents?”

She just looked away. “Can I be alone please?”

He nodded sadly and after making sure he had cleaned up the towels and dirty clothes he exited her room.

Sinking onto the bed she allowed herself to relax. After spending the night in an uncomfortable jet seat the soft mattress and fluffy comforter felt like heaven.

Burying her nose in her pillow she shut her eyes and drifted off into a peaceful sleep.

***

She woke slowly. At first she burrowed deeper into her warm blankets, but a realization hit her and she opened her eyes.

It was mid afternoon. Sunshine poured in through the windows and...and she’d woken up on her own. No nightmares, no panicking, just a deep peaceful sleep.

Drawing back the covers she got up and headed out into the hallway to see if she could go findClint and tell him the good news. Walking into the kitchen she immediately saw Steve. He was at the counter, eating cereal, and reading something.

“Hi.” She said.

He nearly choked on his cereal and when he saw her his eyes widened.

“Natasha! How are you feeling?”

She shrugged and snagged an apple. “I’m alright.”

He gave her a look. “Don’t lie to me please. I need to know the truth. Seeing you like that was...worrying.”

Her heart skipped a beat and she tamped down any emotion that was trying to surface. “My parents are dead, what more should I say?” She said bluntly, ignoring the sharp flare of pain at the words.

He winced. “You sound like me.” He murmured to himself and let out a little sigh.

“Excuse me?” She wasn’t quite sure what to think of that.

Glancing up, he looked startled as if just realizing he’d said that out loud. “Oh, well, when my mother died I was convinced I didn’t need any help. I pushed everyone away just to prove that I would be okay.” His blue eyes clouded over at the memory. “It was the opposite of what I needed.”

She stared at him. This was the first time he had ever mentioned his family. She didn’t quite know what to do. Keep talking or flee?

The choice was made by the very noisy arrival of Tony and Wanda.

“Natasha!” Wanda said, spotting her. “How are you?”

At the sound of her voice, Natasha felt the memories rushing back.

_The reporters. The flashes of the cameras. The flashbacks. Her parents. Everyone was gone._

She backed up until her back hit the fridge and stared wordlessly at Wanda.

 _It’s not her fault that they’re dead._ Her mind whispered but she wasn’t listening.By now the others had spotted the terror all over her face and Wanda looked worried. She took a step forwards, only to stumble back as Natasha flinched.

“Nat?” Tony looked worried and he approached her carefully. “Nat what’s going on? Did Wanda do something?”

Natasha felt guilt and fear battling inside her and lurching forwards she grabbed Tony’s wrists. “I can’t look at her.” She whispered. Tears filled her eyes and she shook him slightly. “Please, get me out of here.”

Tony looked confused but he put an arm around her and carefully guided her out and past a worried Steve and a hurt Wanda.Leading her up several flights of stairs she realized where they were right as he opened the door leading to the rooftop.Numbly, she allowed him to lead her out and to a concrete ledge that served as a bench.

“Alright.” He said turning to face her once they were both seated. “I think you better explain what’s going on.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Get ready for some Tony and Nat, and Natasha finally talking to Wanda, in the next chapter!


	12. Chapter 12

For a moment there was only the whistling sound of the wind as Natasha stared at Tony. His arms were crossed and while he did look worried he also looked suspicious and maybe a little bit angry.

Shivering slightly, she turned to look out at the view. It was stunning and she was grateful they had come up here.

“Do you remember when Ultron tried to tear us apart using Wanda?” She blurted out and immediately winced. They all knew how Tony felt about that particular topic, something she had just somehow managed to sound both insensitive and accusatory about.

Thankfully, he took it in stride. “I do.”

Taking a deep breath she turned back to him and met his gaze. “Wanda unlocked something in me. Memories came back that I hadn’t previously known about, fears that I didn’t know existed. I went to Russia so that maybe I would find someone who could help me with these fears. But that didn’t work.”

Feeling immensely guilty, she fidgeted. “I know it’s not Wanda’s fault that my parents died. It’s mine. But, I haven’t felt like this in a long time and she just made me feel...vulnerable.”

Tony was silent for a moment as he digested this information. “So, was it a memory that made you freeze at that interview? And the missions you’ve been on?”

She winced slightly. The interview was something she could happily never talk about again. “Yes, the mission I had just been on, the snow reminded me of when I was younger. I, uhm, had a panic attack.” She averted her eyes ashamed. It was a mark in her book, a flaw. She’d learned the hard way that people didn’t like flaws so she braced herself.

Tony surprised her though. He took her hands. “I know what you’re talking about.” He said slowly. “The battle of New York? Afterwards I couldn’t stop thinking about that wormhole. I was having panic attacks left and right. So yeah, I understand why you’ve been so different.”

Relief flooded through her. “I didn’t know that.” she whispered.

He squeezed her hand and cleared his throat. “It’s not something I enjoy talking about. I did some stupid stuff. But for my friends I’ll talk about most anything. Like how I think you need to talk to Steve.”

She froze. “uhm, what?”

He gave her a long look. “Natasha. My panic attacks nearly killed the love of my life. I am not about to let that happen to you. You’re my friend. So I think you need to talk to Steve and Wanda. Because if you push them away over and over they will stop being there for you. Trust me, you do not want this.”

He hugged her. “I won’t let you do that.”

For a moment Natasha was still. Then she frowned, “but why Steve? He didn’t do anything to me.”

Tony snorted. “Please, we’ve all noticed you two look at each other. You guys are hopeless. We have bets and you have exactly one day left before I lose fifty dollars.”

She snorted. “There you are. When you hugged me I thought I must have really been imagining things.”

“Be thankful, I don’t hug very often.”

She giggled, “Alright then.”

***

There were a surprising number of places to hide in the compound. After interrogating nearly everyone, Natasha finally pried it out of Clint that Wanda was with Steve (of course) in the hangar.

When she knocked the first thing she noticed was that someone was sobbing. Which was not a good sign, and probably about one hundred percent her fault.

“Wanda?” She called. “Are you in here?”

There was a scrambling noise, then the door opened and her friend appeared, her eyes red from tears.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” She cried. “That it was my fault you’ve been having panic attacks!”

Natasha sucked in a deep breath. “Well I guess the cat’s out of the bag now.” She muttered, “actually I was about to tell you right now.”

“Steve told me!” Wanda said, “he said you’d been like this since Ultron! Is that true?”

Natasha’s head snapped up, her eyes sparking with anger. “Steve told you huh?” She growled. Shoving past her she stormed into the hangar and blinked until her eyes adjusted to the gloom. Steve was leaning against a work table, his arms folded.

“So you told her?” She said quietly. He tipped his head up defiantly. “Someone needed to.”

“Yes!” She exclaimed, frustrated. “I did! In fact, I was going to do that right now! Did that ever occur to you?”

Now Steve looked guilty, “I’m sorry Nat, I was just trying to help.”

She sighed and massaged her temples. “Can you please just...go? I need to talk to Wanda alone.” She didn’t wait for his response before turning back to Wanda who looked crushed.

“You should have told me.” She whispered.

“I know, I was just trying to avoid you getting hurt. I thought I could fix it before you noticed but...”

“But it was a lot more complicated than you thought.” Wanda finished.

She nodded. “And now I was hoping you could help me, if you can. I want you to unlock all my memories.”

Wanda’s eyes went wide. “All of them? Aren’t they bad?”

“Yes,” she said slowly. “But then I know what’s what and don’t have to try and figure it out when I’m somewhere on a mission.” Giving the younger woman a reassuring smile, she took her hand. “Don’t worry Wanda, I know you and I know that you would never hurt me. If there was anyone that could do this, it would be you.”

Wanda exhaled shakily and managed a small smile.

“May I think about it?”“Of course, there’s no rush. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ll leave you to think while I go talk to two more people.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, one last chapter and then this is done! Sorry for the shorter chapter and if there are any writing mistakes, I was in a bit of a rush.  
> Anyways, hope you liked this chapter!


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here’s the last chapter! Also, there is a slightly more dark (someone gets shot) part in here so if that’s upsetting to you please don’t read!

It was early in the morning. Yelena didn’t bother to try and muffle her footsteps. Staggering up the stairs she shoved her way through the door and froze. Letting her hand stray towards her gun she silently cursed herself for being so careless.

Creeping down the hallway she braced herself and, whipping out her gun, stepped through the doorway.

Natasha threw her hands up and didn’t even bother try and hide the fact that she’d found Yelena’s vodka stash.

“Hi.” She said awkwardly, eyeing the gun still trained on her. “Can we talk?”

Yelena scowled and remained where she was standing. “Last time you tried to kill me. Now you’ve returned and stolen my drink. Why should I listen to you?”

Natasha shrugged and nudged a glass in her direction. “Because the you’ll have no one to help you finish your drinks.”

Yelena snorted but stepped forwards keeping a wary eye on her. Accepting a shot glass she downed it quickly.

Natasha watched her calmly, waiting til she had lowered the glass. “So, I see we’ve traded places.” Catching the confused expression she shrugged. “You’re the weaker one now.”

Yelena bristled. “I can still kick your ass if that’s what you’re getting at.” She snarled. Slamming the glass onto the counter she glared at her. “What do you want?”

Natasha set her glass down as well. “I came here to say that I understand why you killed my parents. Kill or be killed right?”

Yelena’s head jerked up. Her brown eyes burned into her green ones and she knew that they were both thinking of the same thing.

_Everyone was concentrating hard on assembling and re-assembling assault rifles as fast as they could._

_Natasha is in the front and she looks as if she is barely paying attention as she tears apart the parts flawlessly._

_Behind her is Yelena, only a little slower, but almost as good._

_At the front of the room a man stands watching them all with a harsh eye. The dim lighting bounces off his metal arm and to the few that dare to look up it’s enough to make them lose focus momentarily._

_Natasha has just finished re-assembling her rifle for the tenth time when a clatter rings through the silent room._

_The man holds up his hand and instantly everyone freezes. Natasha doesn’t dare move her eyes from the surface in front of her but she strains her ears as the man moves past her._

_She hears the scrape as a part is retrieved from the floor and then a loud thud as it’s slammed onto the surface._

_Tightening her hold on the trigger she tries not to move as a soft gasp sounds behind her._

_The man reappears in her vision, his metal arm gripping one of the girls around her upper arm. He motions for her to stand and she does, careful to keep her eyes down._

_The other girls all stand, they know what this means, and form a circle around the two._

_Natasha eyes the other girl who looks scared. Her lip curls, this will be fast._

_Without waiting around she lunges for the girl, who promptly dodges. The girl is fast but Natasha is faster. Letting out another little sob as her way is blocked, she leaps back and tries to go through the circle._

_Yelena’s hands close around her and in an instant, has her in a headlock. Her eyes dart up to meet Natasha’s and she fights a shiver at the cold fury gathered there._

“ _Enough.” At the mans word she releases her hold and the girl collapses to the ground. The man walks through the circle and studies her. Turning to Natasha and Yelena he gives them a small nod. They’ve done well._

_“Kill.” He glances at Natasha and Yelena again. “Or be killed.” He looks at the girl at his feet. Turning to the rest of the girls he turns back on her. “Let this be a lesson for you all.”_

_He moves so fast that even Natasha blinks. His metal arm closes around his gun and the shot rings through the room. Natasha moves back to avoid the blood pooling out from the girls head and raises her eyes to Yelena’s. She sees the same determination gathering there: they will kill._

***

“I thought you’d forgotten about that since you left.”

Natasha shook her head. “I don’t think I could ever forget that.” She admitted.

Yelena nodded and absentmindedly traced the bullet hole scar on her right shoulder. Her souvenir from Budapest. “I guess we’re even now.” She mused.

Natasha squashed a small smile. “I guess we are. Clint would be thrilled.”

Yelena made a face at the mention of the archer. “You still work with him?”

Natasha nodded and stood up. “I need to go, but promise me you’ll stay out of trouble.”

Yelena shook her head and leaned back in her chair. “You know that I could never do that right?”

The other woman sighed. “I know. But at least try.”

Yelena shrugged and gave an unconvincing nod. Natasha stood up and made to walk past her but she leaned forwards and grabbed her wrist. Giving her a sly look she smirked. “How’s it going with your soldier?”

Natasha blushed slightly. “I’m working on it.”

Yelena looked smug. “Knew there was something there.” Letting go of her wrist she gave her fellow Widow one last look before turning away, signaling she was done talking. Natasha smiled at her back before striding from the room and back to where her jet was waiting.

***

It was early morning when she arrived back to the compound. She grinned as she caught sight of a familiar archer waiting for her.

“What did she say?” Clint said as soon as she was beside him. She shrugged. “I told her that you wold approve of us making peace. I got the feeling that she still hasn’t forgiven you for what you did to her.”

Clint laughed and slung his arm over her shoulders. “I’m not surprised. I don’t forgive her either. Being chased down by a creepy guy in a mask was not fun.”

Natasha laughed at the memory and they headed inside.

“Want to spar?”

“Never thought you’d ask.”

***

Her fist connected with his jaw and he stumbled back, giving her the perfect opportunity to pin him. “You really need to move faster.” She said from her position on his back.

“I’m working on it.” He groaned.

She got off and waited til he got up to go at him again. True to his word, Clint was faster. Natasha was doing a great job at blocking him until he went for her legs.

He aimed a blow at her ear and she dodged, fully expecting him to follow up towards her stomach. He almost did it too. At the last moment however, he dropped, grabbed her ankle and surged upwards.

She let out a surprised yelp as she fell on her back and got the wind knocked out of her.

“‘Expect your opponent to use the same moves over and over again and you’re never going to win.’” Clint said in a high-pitched voice above her. “Yes! I’ve waited so long to use that move!” He looked extremely pleased with herself.

Natasha was both amused and annoyed for forgetting one of her main rules she’d drilled into her head. “I wasn’t one hundred percent ready.” She joked scrambling upright.

“Uh huh. Face it, I beat you.” Clint shot back.

“Fine.” She studied him for a second before grinning evilly. “Let’s rematch.” She lunged for him pure revenge the only thing on her mind.

Clint let out a frightened shriek and ran for it.

She chased him all the way up to the communal kitchen where Tony and Bruce were just digging into pancakes. They looked up with mild interest as Clint dived behind the counter and used them as a human shield.

“Care to tell us what’s going on?” Bruce asked shooting Natasha a questioning look as she came sauntering into the room.

“Clint’s under the impression that he beat me during a sparring session.” She said stealing one of his pancakes.

“And why would he think that? Did he actually beat you?” Tony responded, guarding his pancakes.

Natasha glared at him and he shut up quickly. 

“Want some pancakes?” Steve’s voice nearly made her jump out of her skin and she spun around.

Steve was standing, looking both confused and slightly guilty as he extended a plate towards her.

Clint took out his phone.

“Thanks.” She said lightly accepting it and ignoring the look Tony was giving her.

Taking a seat beside Bruce she dug in and tried to ignore the stares as all four men now switched from eating (or in Clint’s case, hiding) to watching her.

“Are you guys a thing?” Bruce finally said tentatively as he glanced from her to Steve.

Tony choked on his mouthful and Clint prepared to dive back behind the counter. _Wrong thing to say my friend._

Natasha met Steve’s gaze, and, not looking away answered with a simple, “yes.”

Steve looked surprised, and then blushed furiously and smiled. Tony and Clint both looked shocked, while Bruce merely shrugged.

“Cool.”

“Thanks.” She went back to eating and slowly the others went back to what they’d been doing.

She’d just finished a second plate when Wanda came into the room. “I’m going to help you.” She announced.

“Thank you!” Natasha said and Steve gave the younger woman a friendly look.

“Let’s get started.” She continued and the three of them left the room.

Tony remained in his spot before heading for the coffee pot. “It’s too early for this.” He muttered. Bruce left for the lab and Clint made his escape into the living room.

Once he’d sank onto the the sofa he turned his attention back to his phone. “I knew it!” He said triumphantly.

“Oh you did not at all! It’s a wonder how you’re able to shoot, you can hardly see what’s happening right beneath your nose.” Yelena sounded disgusted. But even she couldn’t keep a smile off her face.

“Now you owe me one hundred bucks.” Clint said gleefully.

“You’re not going to see me for a very long time Barton. And you’ll never see my money either.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The ending was a bit weak but whatever.   
> Some things to take note of: 1, ‘the creepy guy in a mask’ is foreshadowing for how Taskmaster got Hawkeye’s shooting abilities.   
> 2, Yelena was in Budapest with Clint and Nat.  
> 3, I didn’t put Bruce in very much because I wanted to focus more on Steve and Nat. So I guess just pretend he was away on a trip  
> 3.5, Bruce is fine with Nat being in love with Steve because they weren’t really in love in AOU, in my opinion.  
> Anyways! That’s the end, I hope you enjoyed and liked this!


End file.
